hurts

I found a new pain at work. Mind you there are the annoyances of fellow leaders and chiefs who are as much hypocrites as they are mammals. The flow of business and scheduling is hectic and chaotic. At work there are many ways to get minor injuries like burns, cuts, bruises. You deal with fellows (co-workers) and people whom you may otherwise be slow to throw the life safer.

Being a leader, I'm supposed to move left and look right, follow a rough sketch that defies regulations, policy, and follow the chief-in-charge, rather than a set scheme. I field questions, hustle like a paint shaker, then get admonished for working hard.

I found this new pain while looking for someone. I opened up a closet, where people do keep themselves so that they can complete work projects and not be seen/disturbed. I walked in and found a person drinking on the job. I am supposed to send the person home right away, document the event, and essentially sign the termination papers for the person prior to the chief addressing the issue and beheading the person. I didn't send the person home, didn't inform anyone else of the situation. The person seemed legitimately sorry and I suspect and hope that it will be my last hurdle with this person.

I might be completely wrong, and perhaps should have followed the guidelines, "according to the book" that hardly any chief does. It seems like a bill, with so-called leaders having a daily line-item veto or applicability exemption stamp. Since all the leaders have exceptions to the rules, generally as shortcuts, and are hypocrites -- am I feeling bad about what I did? I didn't follow procedure to get a person fired. I feel justified, but unsure whether I did anyone right by my decision.

Break-splatters fly!

At work yesterday was one of the ugliest and darkest days I've had. It was rough, tough, and unacceptable. I have a self-policy of acknowledging my fellows with token gift for "brothers in arms" during heavy periods when we get slaughtered. The prinicple reason last night was busy night with a person who was a no-show. The strange thing about it is that work doesn't terminate the person. Work has been none-to-worried about canning people before for such a transgression, especially on the frequency that this person has done it.

I wonder if there's a story there I should know ... favoristism, methinks.

I ran, and ran, and ran ... broke stuff, and was quite sore by night's end. I reluctantly completed a time-wasting assignment that helped solve an error. It is a twice-daily job, but here saved an eggresious error from miscounting. I had other things I needed and wanted to do, but I finished it and found an error, observed by the other "m". We concured on the new number and I buggered out of there.

I suspect that tonight will be modestly better with a slight chance of less spanking and more possibilities. I informed the cheify that training others to do other jobs would have been wise, but he didn't act on it. I think we caught it on the butt or face for his lack of effort on this action. He, of course, is out this week.

I have graded this week to be a 65 percent. This means it's an "F", but it shows some competency. Perhaps extra credit would help. Writing of which, I wonder if I can talk personnel into OT for me, namely to put things into "real shape" so that work isn't perpetually doing catch-up. They're pretty lame-brained, so I don't have high hopes.

empathy

I've put in enough time at work that I actually feel for some of these people. Crud, I was hoping to get out before I cared. Anyway ... each has her or his own story and some are frot with self-destruction. One person, I had the bad task of letting her know that the management turned down my suggestion for her to be trained as a "specific manager". They cited that she had an, "attitude problem" and she was made aware that were she ever entered into the management world, the area would be where I suggested her to be trained, but only there.

While at work yesterday and catching on fire from the 90 something degree heat, due to ovens and the adjacent (not closed off by doors) room's heat was set at a brisk 84 degrees making my area around 5000 degrees. Later someone came in and changed it to human temperatures, but didn't affect me for 90 some minutes.

I am hoping that more and more people see and understand the simplistic laziness of the next-levelers+. I know at work I am the horse, "I will work harder", while the at times pigs-as-farmers develop new plans for windmills. I'm not quite sure who plays the role of Snowball yet, but I'll find out. Yes, it's akin to Animal Farm, but in a less Communistic way. One next-leveler remarked that something should be in one position, but walked away empty-handed, leaving someone else to move the things to the place where she went.

Now for these next-levers, I feel almost not compassion or empathy, for generally they are hypocritical and not worthy of much attention as it is most hot air. They have all the time in the world to pull people aside and give remarks here and there and experiential teachings, but aren't often willing to do the work. Oh no ... shouldn't do that.

The other people who work there, all have some kind of situation. Now, my hero-complex notwithstanding, I can't save any of them, but I can feel for them. One woman has a son, "he's an asshole", as she remarked for he is in jail for robbing a place. There are ... two married servers (waitresses), but most of them have children. That's right, do the math ... single moms, some who are living with the man responsible for the child, but can't commit to marriage. "Let's spend the night together", as Mick Jagger might say.

One newly pregnant woman/girl was complaining of feeling like crap. Huh, in an overly hot place working hard and first tri-mester of first child. Imagine that! I instictly offered an Excederin, but she was thinking more clearly than I was remarking that she couldn't take it. Kryptonite ... can't help. Another girl at work, who reminds me so much of Jennifer -- it's almost scary, wanted to learn another area in the place. So, I told one of the next-levers ... or was it a brick wall, I can't remember.

I typed a long-overly elaborate letter dictating one girl's interest in learning another area of the store where I think she would shine. It was actually something she brought up wanting. I will have to do the same for this Jennifer-like girl who wishes to move around yet some more. Perhaps the I should skip the intermediary steps, or middle management and go straight to the unit's top dog. I hate not following protocol, but if it doesn't work, then I'll have to skip it.

Finally, for I should stop here, one girl was telling me about a guy she's dating who -- by her description, is the vandal. You know ... he's the rough guy, to make other girls jealous. Then later, she'll likely say, "Hey! He was a jerk, just like he was acting to be!" Well, I let her know my opinion and expressed that I'd rather not see her hurt -- in a brotherly sort of way. She appreciated that and "don't have a brother who protects me", seemed happy that I was interested.

Also, being the rumor-stop, meaning that if the grapevine news hits me ... it's done at me. I think this is why people don't mind talking with me, for I consider things, share an opinion sometimes, but don't work on keeping the rumor mill going and keep secrets, secret. I know of people at work seeking other employment and know that some are leaving, but they haven't yet told management. These secrets I'll keep, for they were told to me in confidence. I guess this is being a hero of sorts -- a shoulder and an ear, no flying through the air required.

+ meaning, the level above mine

weight

Well, Marcus had a secret he didn't want to tell anyone. Bethy found out because she asked so I can now let everyone know. Work is a pain and generally un-enjoyable, more so now than before. I found out with my last check that I didn't get my raise that I should have. It irked me and bothered me to a great extent. I went in on Wednesday expecting the chance to catch the GM and let him know of my problem. I copied the pay stubs and noted that I didn't get my raise.

He, in turn, thought I meant that I wasn't getting enough hours. Another day later I speak with him and found out his misconception. He claimed that he couldn't give raises, but rather could only make recommendations to the DM for them. So, he abdicated it to the DM. He did note that he would prefer merit-based raises. That's fine, except if the criteria are written down, you don't know what you need to complete, right?

So, I called the DM on Friday expecting him to flat out turn down my raise as promised. I typed a resignation letter planning on delivering it to the GM tonight. I know, I know ... I should have another job lined up and I should. I was going to shoot myself in the foot for, in my mind, we were arguing over chump change. This raise is actually the cheapest of the raises I'll get. It they battle this one, imagine my fight on the next one. I was pumped and prepared for a battle.

The DM said, oh, yeah ... how much was that? Okay. I'll talk with the GM about it. So, he said yes, then maybe ... I still had to go into work to find out the results. The GM called me over to him to talk with while he was working. First -- suggestions on closing ... okay, yeah, yeah, yeah ... blah, blah, blah ... am I getting my raise? Finally, he noted ... DM talked with me and said, "Sorry. He's put it in and the check will be sent out to you." Okay, so I got my raise. I don't have to drop anchor and drift again.

After rough seas of doubt, I still find Christ walking on water to save people and me. I have been stressed over this for a while and I didn't talk to family about it, fearing the worst responses about my would-have-been hasty decision. I have had other letters of intent, leads, and offers. I think I will pursue them to find out if they offer a fair compensation for what I am doing now ... ie: equitable trade.

In secondary news, I think the mgr in training has seen a good dose of, "what the ..." with business and general laziness on the part of the long-timers who'd rather talk than work. Maybe now he'll ask less often, "what's wrong?"

Wednesday

Lake across from work

park

Fingers out-stretched to the lake.

That was Monday. On Wednesday, the weather was bad, the traffic was worse, including a serious accident with injuries on the road I travel. It made me run late as well. The injuries (EMS present and cars beyond totalled) were more important than my being "only on time".

I was on time for work, but barely, met with the DM to pre-review. I had to clean some areas before we began for the closing crew did not do such a good job. I note this because it is important later. The crew might have hurried through it and not done a good job, or were so busy that completion of task within the time frame was not realistic or possible.

My meeting lasted a while and during lunch, the DM took me out, so that where we were wasn't occupied by our butts. We talked there, more about non-work related things. I don't think we got as far as we could/should have. The afternoon then was real work. The place was dry and slow. I got a few things done for my self-assigned homework. I got pictures of screens for a training manual for myself and any who follow my course.

I also used MS screen print to send screen pictures to my account, but they never transmitted. What a piece of crap that system is. Anyway ... the business picked up around 3:30, then train-like sped up and forward continually. By 5:30 we were "hoppin" and there were people waiting to sit. That was great business -- great to see it alive and moving, but

we were short on people, very short on people
we were short on supplies and ran out of supplies

At 8:00 the rush ebbed and I was sent out, after my 11.25 hour day. I am quite sure there was a second rush.

The morale was grim that night. Not only had it been busy and they had their butts kicked, but there was a perspective of unfairness between chiefs -- in the eyes of a young man. His opinion of a manager was docked a few points. I listened and understood his opinion. I had a front section job, so didn't work as hard as the Indy pit crew were last night. They were fast, sweaty, and eager. I wish I had something to give them all. I think they did friggin' great.

I am trying to put together a manual for work, but some parts I need didn't come through email -- thanks, work! I would naturually guess a file-size limitation, but that isn't likely considering work. I'll have to do it the less efficient way then and photograph the screen -- larger pics requiring much more work and luck not getting any glare. My manual won't be done this work, for sure.

I included the lovely pictures, for the day wasn't lovely, but the people there are. They are hard-working and dedicated. Sadly, I don't think their efforts are recognized often. One person there noted that [the same person] was seeking another job and if offered would drop this one for the other. Now ... the job doesn't pay too well (imagine that), and the benefits are dubious, but it is a job. The last few weeks of nastiness will take its toll on those working and I'll see a few people drop out, no doubt.

Work asks questions

So ... when are you moving ... around here?
Is there a reason why you aren't moved yet?
So, is there anything we can do to get you moved up here?


I think I feel a trend here.

On the lighter side of things, I have been asked to "shop" for a few things. Why I'm the one is beyond me, but I don't mind. The other people there have been there longer and are younger, but ... they seem to have no interest in such things.

I have a test in around a month and they will begin "grilling" me on the materials. I was told to make study sheets so that I can walk in with a prepared speech, essentially, over each section. And this testing and verbal meeting is two hours long? Oi! I'm not stressed, but yikes -- I'm not all thrilled to do all that. The good news is that upon successful completion, I get a bump in pay. The "bump" isn't much, as I calculated it to be about 50 cents/hr, but it is something. I can only hope that I can get through the other sections much faster.

God's humor at work

So ... this guy at work reminds me much, very much, of a brother-in-law. Which brother-in-law you might ask. I will hint:

He listens to talk radio, quotes it, then asks others -- as though they were listening similtaneously with him. Razzle-frazzle-babble-gumble? Uh ... I just don't know guy! This man's wit is quick ... makes little cartoonish "woo-hoo" noises -- funny, as he is really timid as a general rule. Given the chance, I'm sure he'd exhaust your ears with opinions and annecdotes and "long story, making it longer".

Yes, Jim ... somehow you got transplanted, in some small way, to my workplace.

positively work

There's a woman at work who is diabetic. She has to administer shots to herself while at work. She does it in the arm, bruising easily. After I mentioned that Lois does this, but in the abdomen, this woman rebuffed the idea of stomach shots for the same reason -- bruising. At least she's pro-active with it and taking it seriously!

I was asked yet another question about the volumes of stuff I was to read and remember. What does this weigh? Uh ... I don't know. The SATs were simple, these tests, whenever I get them, will be grueling, for sure. I'm not nervous or worried, but there is a fartload of stuff that they want me to have committed to memory.

It was funny, I was "attempting" to direct people at work, but it got busy, always and we ran behind. A shift leader, previously an assistant manager before he left the company then returned, noted the volume of business that we did over projected. We were short-staffed and had our butts handed to us. I mentioned on my personal blog about my disappointment with placement and use of personnel. Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in the heads of people. One manager, in particular, tends to send off people during a fifteen minute lull, only see to business surge like a tsunami. For this reason, I consider him quite a fool regarding staffing. Granted, the one guy he sent home was, well, not imbibed with strong work ethics ... sloth-like speed at times, mixed with tendencies toward chatting-in-lieu-of-working and eating the buffet discards (food pulled off buffet that is okay, not on some one's plate), but still. The kid, who might have been selectively placed (special needs person with some limitations regarding cognition) called me, Speedy Gonzales, for dishes can be done fast -- unlike what he shows.

I got freed 25 minutes early, for lack of business ... they had no choice but to drop people -- they kept only the closers. I drove in the evening setting sun and saw around ten wild deer in different fields. There were four in one field, and a couple in another, etc. I'm assuming they had an easy winter, yet again this year.

Slice of work

I rolled the thin crust.